Anniversary Blues

Emotions drive almost all of our buying decisions – some claim over 90% of the time it’s our heart that tells us to reach for our wallet. This is why your messaging has to tug at the “why” your customer should buy instead of the “what.” Don’t believe me?  Then read on yon skeptic:

I don’t like jewelry. I just don’t understand why someone would sport a mini-bicycle chain around their neck or poke a hole somewhere in their body with a sharp stick and then fill the pit with a rock. And I really can’t grasp why someone would remove the hook from a perfectly good fishing lure and then dangle it from their earlobe – a bass ain’t gonna chase you down the street people! In fact, and I think this has been proven scientifically, the Y chromosome is actually the anti-jewelry gene.  “Pish-posh” you’re thinking, a lot of men buy it and even wear it. Ah, but they only do it to appease the double-X people.

Case in point; this year my beautiful bride and I celebrated our 30thwedding anniversary and I wanted to do something special. Now I don’t have a stellar track record when it comes to choosing the appropriate symbolic gift so this was going to require some “out-of-the-box” thinking. On our 20thanniversary – platinum – I bought her The Beatles’ Abbey Road album. It went platinum in 1969. Great gift, heartfelt, sincere. She didn’t think so. We wound up in a jewelry store.  On our 25th– silver – I   bought her the complete set of the original Lone Ranger TV series. She didn’t feel the love and we ended up “Hi Hoing” right down to the Olde Jewelry Shoppe.

 For our 30thI had two things on my mind as I researched what the “symbol” for this year was supposed to be. First, no matter what it was, I was determined to avoid getting that, “I just swallowed a fly” expression that I was accustomed to seeing when she saw my gift. Secondly, I had a faint hope that this year would be a man’s year – c’mon fishing boat. Imagine my disappointment when I looked on www.anniversarygiftsthatmenwillthinkarenuts.com and found that this year was, ta-da, pearl. Pearl? I figured I may as well hand feed her that bug because this was not going to go well.    

 Undaunted, I marched, alone and very afraid, into a local Beads & Trinkets establishment where I was immediately set upon by two very helpful and bejeweled sales people. After hearing my anniversary announcement, they super glued themselves to my side and began showing me an assortment of glittering gobs of metal. “Isn’t this plating fabulous?” – looked like a Muskie lure…“This is on sale!” – should give it away…“This is 187-karat flatsenjammin!” – don’t care…“Your wife will appreciate this!” – Bingo!  I whipped out my plastic and paid a few hundred dollars for something that served only one purpose – to make me feel good about making my wife feel good.

 The rational side of me didn’t buy that bauble for her – I still think shiny things belong in a tackle box. But the emotional part of me wanted to see the smile on her face and the mist in her eyes when she saw her gift. The kind people at We Have Junk Jewelry Emporium kept throwing all these features at me that didn’t touch any emotion. They kept focusing on the “what” – I was only interested in my “why”. They lost track of the #1 rule of selling; Customers buy for their reasons, not yours.

 By the way, I looked up all the anniversary symbols from 31 to 100 – there’s no fishing boat anywhere!